Step 6: Contact

Your commitment to connecting to the people around you is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

Character is made from yourself.

Reputation is what other people think of you.

You need contact with other people to build a character that doesn’t give a shit about reputation.

You willingness to see beyond the faults, choices, and habits of others is directly related to how well you accept the faults in your own existence.

In a single lifetime, we’re introduced to several different kinds of people. If we are true to ourselves and others, we can make each interaction a spiritual one. Find something to offer and/or something new to learn from these exchanges. Use them as opportunities to be present and connected so that you may see yourself in someone else. Pushing human contact and connection, friendly or romantic, away is dysfunctional, and has perhaps been imparted to you by someone else’s disaffection.

Connecting with others is natural. Wanting to prolong connection with someone is not a sign of weakness. Wanting to advance your current mode of contact into something more is not needy.

Things to do when you want to talk to someone.

1. Stop making a story about whether someone should call you first, or if it has been enough time to feel like you have the green light. This goes for both men and women. It does not limit your individuality or independence to reach out to someone. You should be secure in who you are that you can literally give pieces of you away as you are limitless.

2. Call them. A dial-pad is not a deadly weapon. Making someone’s phone ring is not a crime. Texting is not whole communication and you are not breaking a boundary just because you haven’t spoken on the phone yet. It never was and never will be despite how normalized it may have become in modern interactions.

3. The energetic exchange of human contact allows you to be vulnerable and you grants the person whom you are communicating with the chance to surrender and show themselves.



contact in body.jpg



Meaningful contact defines boundaries, breaks down walls, and is an opportunity for people to show themselves. But, when and how to reach out to someone is a huge point of contention for many people.

…”It’s been three days?”

“He still hasn’t responded…..”

“…..How could she like my post but not tell me about this weekend.”

Contact is a necessity for all, despite how this need looks different for each person. It is the only way we settle into stability if and when we are building trust with someone.

Choosing a mode of contact causes unnecessary stress and anxiety. Life is hard as it is. Don’t add this to the list. If you feel like offering a hug, do it. If you want to slip your hand into someone else’s, go for it. Stroke hair, brush a cheek. Your skin is the largest organ of the body and it responds to touch.

Human vibration is essential, like sunlight to a plant.

Ways you may be hindering your own growth or others by controlling and changing the nature of human contact.

1. You feel on the outside. No one gets you. These “outlier” feelings of alienating and are misguiding you. They are keeping you away from the healing vibrations of other humans. Don’t Do It. And don’t push this idea on someone else.

2. When you close yourself off from others, you close yourself off from what they know and think about, what they are creating and nurturing. You cannot be part of it nor can you share the things you know.

3. If the idea of others causes you to worry that they may interfere and negatively influence your relationship. I can share with you the age old wisdom, “To worry, is to suffer twice.”

If you are pushing people away and out of your life and demanding your significant other to isolate themselves so that you may gain confidence and security. Your fear is impairing you. Your insecurities are negatively impacting your partner’s sensibilities the power of your relationship will be diminished.

Advertisements

How to SPRING into Action [May 1]

Life remembers all the things you do and don’t and she brings them back and then forces you to laugh at your own stupidity. You will have the same lesson over and over again until you learn it. The same things, crazy and strange things that at the time …are so crazy it seems like nothing like this has ever happened before or to anyone else, but in reality… this is not your first time on this ride, and all your besties know it.

Learning to Love yourselfis the definitionof change copyWhy don’t we learn the first time? Or any time after that? Why must we repeat these experiences? Why and how do we forget? When we get the message in the moment we are so clear and sure as we say to ourselves, “Never again will this sort of thing happen.” Then, all of a sudden you’re kind of back where you were, but not really.. but sort of… sure things are different but what’s actually different? Not much. The first emotion is mad, mad as hell. But then… We laugh. We cry. We over analyze. We stay distracted for as long as we can. We listen to the problems of other people. We try to motivate them to do something to feel better, to make a difference. We ruminate on what is ailing them and why this dilemma is happening to them in the first place. We compare our life to theirs and then we shit on ourselves for forgetting that we had our own problems to solve. 

This is the beginning of the complete examination of everything that has brought us to this moment and in one breath, maybe in the shower or during a commute, its non-stop and you don’t feel like you’re gonna make it.

So as not to be furthermore paralyzed by analysis. This is your brain. Not on drugs, just your regular every day brain.  “And why this and why that…” but then something else comes up:     You are alone.

God No! The horror! You can’t do this alone. You need to be next to someone, touching someone, smelling someone. Why should you not get all of these things and cum? You should cum as much as you physically can. Okay, so then you become aligned with another person. This other person is your friend. You laugh with them now. You cry with them now. They are your go-to human, your number 1 fan, your hero, everything you are into and want to be into. You collide and are physically changed. This happens without thinking. This is your body interacting with your spirit, chemically enhancing your senses and giving you access to love. It isn’t gay. It’s magic.

But what about you? You must not stop living for you, doing for you, trusting in you. You are not what this other person, who happens to always be around wants, needs, thinks of, and is entertained by. You are still committed to the one who came before them and by that I mean the pursuit of your extreme and infinite bliss: Your trial and error, your eternal evolution of what it means to be part of the Universe…. The Where, What, and How…of Being Alive.

  • Demand more from you. You can and will shock the shit out of yourself. Don’t look around what others are doing. Don’t wait for some app to tell you how you feel or what the latest trends are. Do not put yourself on the back burner. Answer the hard questions. Don’t cut corners. Put in the extra credit because investing in yourself is the most important thing you can ever do.
  • The more you share, the more you will know. You can only get what you give. Humans share problems and therefore share solutions. We all learn from mistakes, but they do not have to be our own. Once you “sign on” to the collective experience that we share here and engage in the lives around you, saying your insights out loud [what is true in your heart] is what grants you access to all other truths. Your connection to everyone around you is what keeps you alive.
  • Keep your word. Do as you say you do. Have the will to commit to your greatest challenge. Be the best human for human’s sake. Take pride in your integrity.
  • Find stillness/ silence so that you may hear your inner voice. This is your guide.
  • Fill your life with things that give back. Pursue your hobbies and interests. You are the greatest creator you haven’t yet met. Begin Now. Life is already waiting for you.

You are a satellite: a receiver and you soak in the sunshine and it radiates your insides. You are in harmony. You are not fixed. You are like a plant reaching for the sun, designed with your quirky particulars but grown with and for a magnificent purpose because you are connected to the unknown. Your insides, too, are like liquid, completely formless only to then bloom.

You are divine. Make this life as beautiful as possible.

Swadhyaya (Niyama #4)

Swadhyaya – स्वाध्याय – Self-Study

Does practicing Swadhyaya tell us to study the self, or to regularly practice studying?  Yes. Both of course.

You immediately make a face, you don’t wanna study.Image result for sad child girl face

“You don’t want to learn, you’re done with school.”

“You don’t think you have the time for it.” Cough Netflix. Cough.                                       These are excuses easily taken care of by TapasyaTapasya (Niyama #3.)

Swadhyaya is a path to freedom, as it is the practice of learning or un-learning all of the things that hold you back. Swadhyaya is a 2- Part agreement: first with yourself and secondly with your respect for learning.

self-study

Part 1: Swadhyaya actually means to study the self, or self-analysis.

This agreement is with you and your best friend: also you. As your best friend, you need to know you better than anyone else. You need to listen & talk to you, trust, encourage, and love you.

 

Swadhyaya:

  • forges a deep connection and sustained communication with the higher self. This is miraculous if you think about it! Without any help from Facebook, you can intuitively receive information from everything around you. A breeze, a song, something someone says, a serendipitous run in, etc.
  • If you can see your life as one would read a book, or participate in any activity that cultivates a reflective consciousness you are practicing Swadhyaya.
  • The soul tends to be lured by activities that lead to discovery and illumination. Note: This is not the same as taking a quiz to see what your spirit animal is, but in reality any challenge can become an opportunity to learn about yourself.

Part 2: Don’t go Full Zombie. The moment that you think you know everything or that you know more than everyone else is the moment you die.

It may not have presented itself as “giving up” but that’s what it is.

  • Curiosity is your fuel signal lighting up on the dashboard: You need gas.
  • You have to feed your imagination. Travel. Read. Create.
  • Don’t know how or what? Start asking questions, or just start. You will learn in the process.

How you may have fallen into Full Zombie Mode:

  • It made sense at the time, an admittedly low point in your life… Try asking, “Why am I still here?”
  • Everyone else is doing it, so whatever… Ask yourself, “If someone drives down a one way street the wrong way, am I going to do it? 
  • Perhaps your cynicism is no longer manageable… But ask, “Why am I miserable?” “Why don’t I trust anything, Why don’t I want to know anything, or why don’t I care about my life?”

Whatever the reason: when you disengage from your life, you’re going full Zombie. It’s really f**** hard to come back from Full Zombie. 

Be forewarned, the Swadhyaya classroom is a relentless one.

  • In order to be a self-studier you become teacher and pupil. You are the only person who can design and adhere to the curriculum. You will instantly become aware of all of your negative tendencies, who you have turned into, and how terrible this may make you feel. Welcome and accept your limitations as this is where learning begins.

acceptanceis1

In this practice of self-study you must find the source of…

Your anger..

Sadness..

Impatience..

or Self-loathing..  You will also learn how cunning you are and will be tried by your own deception.

Combing through these knots is teaching yourself to accept what you learn about you. This leads to true compassion and transforms your energy with everything around you.

The more we do this, the more we are free.

 

Holy Smokes

It’s been a long time and I have missed you!

 

 

I was for sure that I wasn’t going to get carried away with the holidays and rigmarole of buzzing to and from parties, stores, filling out cards and wrapping presents, but yea right. I was mistaken. My family was awesome- Charades was hilarious. Relationships expanded, and my clients were sweet as pie.

 

I’ve kept my word: yoga everyday. Just last night I taught a candlelit yoga at 10pm. Comment for details. Our practice was set for acceptance, gratitude, and contentment.

 

Since Christmas, I’ve been juicing like a pro. http://www.brevilleusa.com/beverages/juicers.html

Here’s two tips I am gonna share with you that most people don’t talk about.

 

For starters, some people have an aversion to putting berries in a juicer, especially poorly trained employees of juice bars, and let’s face it they advise more than half of our juice drinking population, therefore creating the standard. BUT the truth is strawberries are the perfect compliment to your all green drink. Of course there are many great recipes, but IMPROVISE you will be enamored with yourself.

 

And the next tip people is supremely important!! YOU CAN KEEP THE PULP AND COOK WITH IT. Hello?! Isn’t this fantastic! The juicer gives you a beautiful start to the morning and then at some point when your ready for solids, you can take all that kale and throw it in a skillet with eggs for the omelet you wouldn’t have had otherwise.

 

But what about if you don’t separate the pulp, so in your bin you have grapefruit, carrots, kiwi, apple, and spinach. You might not want to make a stir-fry or omelet with this. No problem. You can make COOKIES!!!   Yes! Wholesome and delicious cookies.

 

Get flour or bread mix that is more grain/seed based than white flour and add whatever fixings you see fit. They are great between meals, on the go, or for the kids. But don’t waste them all on the kids, enjoy them as well. I promise yet again you will be enamored, maybe even wink next time you pass yourself in the mirror. 😉

 

So what else? Swimming of course. Probably staying at the two to three times a week mark.

Haven’t been running or doing much cardio otherwise. Ankle needs the rest.

I left the restaurant PARK 112. More of a hassle than a hustle. HA!

 

Kaia studio in Greenwich has been blessed with my presence and I have good things to say about them. http://www.kaiayoga.com/

They’ve initiated a pose of the month and each class sets that intention in different ways base on the teacher. This month is tadasana.

Comment for details.

 

 

 

Today’s juice- strawberries, kiwi, spinach, kale, orange, apple, carrot.

Pulp- cookies. (In the oven now)

I also made a beautiful little

Egg salad with pesto veganaise dipped into with Susie’s Thin rice cakes. These little square cakes are natural, inexpensive, and tasty!! They are available in Whole Foods and Mrs. Greens. Which by the way, there’s am enormous Mrs. Greens on central by the White Plains/Hartsdale border.

 

 

Last Request: If anyone knows of teens/ Tweens that can benefit or are interested in yoga, please Facebook or comment here so that I can invite them to my teen/tween class @ wainwright house in Rye.    http://www.wainwright.org/programs.htm   —-> very cool programs.

Middle school can be emotional and parents are the enemy. Yoga can do a lot for them physically and mentally. Look forward to hearing from you and being back.   https://www.facebook.com/tiffany.fuentes.581  (find me and friend me)

 

 

 

Namaste