Step 6: Contact

Your commitment to connecting to the people around you is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

Character is made from yourself.

Reputation is what other people think of you.

You need contact with other people to build a character that doesn’t give a shit about reputation.

You willingness to see beyond the faults, choices, and habits of others is directly related to how well you accept the faults in your own existence.

In a single lifetime, we’re introduced to several different kinds of people. If we are true to ourselves and others, we can make each interaction a spiritual one. Find something to offer and/or something new to learn from these exchanges. Use them as opportunities to be present and connected so that you may see yourself in someone else. Pushing human contact and connection, friendly or romantic, away is dysfunctional, and has perhaps been imparted to you by someone else’s disaffection.

Connecting with others is natural. Wanting to prolong connection with someone is not a sign of weakness. Wanting to advance your current mode of contact into something more is not needy.

Things to do when you want to talk to someone.

1. Stop making a story about whether someone should call you first, or if it has been enough time to feel like you have the green light. This goes for both men and women. It does not limit your individuality or independence to reach out to someone. You should be secure in who you are that you can literally give pieces of you away as you are limitless.

2. Call them. A dial-pad is not a deadly weapon. Making someone’s phone ring is not a crime. Texting is not whole communication and you are not breaking a boundary just because you haven’t spoken on the phone yet. It never was and never will be despite how normalized it may have become in modern interactions.

3. The energetic exchange of human contact allows you to be vulnerable and you grants the person whom you are communicating with the chance to surrender and show themselves.



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Meaningful contact defines boundaries, breaks down walls, and is an opportunity for people to show themselves. But, when and how to reach out to someone is a huge point of contention for many people.

…”It’s been three days?”

“He still hasn’t responded…..”

“…..How could she like my post but not tell me about this weekend.”

Contact is a necessity for all, despite how this need looks different for each person. It is the only way we settle into stability if and when we are building trust with someone.

Choosing a mode of contact causes unnecessary stress and anxiety. Life is hard as it is. Don’t add this to the list. If you feel like offering a hug, do it. If you want to slip your hand into someone else’s, go for it. Stroke hair, brush a cheek. Your skin is the largest organ of the body and it responds to touch.

Human vibration is essential, like sunlight to a plant.

Ways you may be hindering your own growth or others by controlling and changing the nature of human contact.

1. You feel on the outside. No one gets you. These “outlier” feelings of alienating and are misguiding you. They are keeping you away from the healing vibrations of other humans. Don’t Do It. And don’t push this idea on someone else.

2. When you close yourself off from others, you close yourself off from what they know and think about, what they are creating and nurturing. You cannot be part of it nor can you share the things you know.

3. If the idea of others causes you to worry that they may interfere and negatively influence your relationship. I can share with you the age old wisdom, “To worry, is to suffer twice.”

If you are pushing people away and out of your life and demanding your significant other to isolate themselves so that you may gain confidence and security. Your fear is impairing you. Your insecurities are negatively impacting your partner’s sensibilities the power of your relationship will be diminished.

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Step 2 : Loyalty

Step 2 of 12: See #1 Blueprint

Loyalty – What does this mean?

What does this word loyalty first make you think of? What visualizations come to mind? It typically sends us by the droves to the idea of friends, family, God, perhaps a heritage — dare I say country?

Women: We may not be our past but we cannot deny how history is still with us.

Society, may not be innocent. History does have the word “his” built into its structure. Perhaps, we have come a long way but attached to this word Loyalty are codes of behavior defining our role and sexuality as it pertains to a man or our man. Why? Naturally, some cultures reiterate more than others, but bottom line here is that:

Loyalty starts and ends with you.

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Stay true to what it is that your heart sings.

True to the words you have said out loud. The ideas you have committed to and the actions you have planned. Be loyal to yourself and those that are depending on you, no matter how scary it may seem or how much work is staring you in the face, and despite all those that stand in your way. Be the best you can be. You don’t need anyone’s approval. Practice Swadhyaya.

Perseverance: Loyalty’s right hand woman

Sometimes you are going to put your kindness out there. You are going to go the extra mile and say something when someone else does not. You are going to assume the responsibility, the fault, the whatever it is – You’ll throw it on your back, metaphorically, because you’re strong enough to carry it, particularly when you know it needs to be carried and have the sense of the bigger picture: it means everything to just do it.

And- when you do and are met with nothing but resistance.. From friends no less? From family, even?

This is your trying moment.

When you’re backed by humility & morality, all of your good effort and karmic pleasantries:

                 — that you pulled from deep inside yourself, in the way a                        seed pushes through soil, despite the gravity—

And you are met with contrarians, people bent on arguing because they’re uncomfortable. Their upset is beyond even their comprehension but still, it falls in your lap. How will you console them, and pursue greatness even if these two things seem to be in direct competition?

This is the moment you cannot be disgusted by them or their confusion. It is this moment that you have to persevere and say your message one more time with an even greater amount of love — and then peace out.

“… And I knew that as long as I had that disgust, the world would evade me and I would evade myself. I knew that the basic error in living was finding cockroaches disgusting. Finding disgust in the thought of kissing a leper was my missing the primary life inside me… for disgust contradicts me, contradicts the matter in me.”

-Clarice Lispector, “The Passion According to G.H.”

The energy of loyalty helps you remain true to yourself. Once you have learned how to do that, you can be loyal through and through, without forgetting yourself.