Step 6: Contact

Your commitment to connecting to the people around you is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

Character is made from yourself.

Reputation is what other people think of you.

You need contact with other people to build a character that doesn’t give a shit about reputation.

You willingness to see beyond the faults, choices, and habits of others is directly related to how well you accept the faults in your own existence.

In a single lifetime, we’re introduced to several different kinds of people. If we are true to ourselves and others, we can make each interaction a spiritual one. Find something to offer and/or something new to learn from these exchanges. Use them as opportunities to be present and connected so that you may see yourself in someone else. Pushing human contact and connection, friendly or romantic, away is dysfunctional, and has perhaps been imparted to you by someone else’s disaffection.

Connecting with others is natural. Wanting to prolong connection with someone is not a sign of weakness. Wanting to advance your current mode of contact into something more is not needy.

Things to do when you want to talk to someone.

1. Stop making a story about whether someone should call you first, or if it has been enough time to feel like you have the green light. This goes for both men and women. It does not limit your individuality or independence to reach out to someone. You should be secure in who you are that you can literally give pieces of you away as you are limitless.

2. Call them. A dial-pad is not a deadly weapon. Making someone’s phone ring is not a crime. Texting is not whole communication and you are not breaking a boundary just because you haven’t spoken on the phone yet. It never was and never will be despite how normalized it may have become in modern interactions.

3. The energetic exchange of human contact allows you to be vulnerable and you grants the person whom you are communicating with the chance to surrender and show themselves.



contact in body.jpg



Meaningful contact defines boundaries, breaks down walls, and is an opportunity for people to show themselves. But, when and how to reach out to someone is a huge point of contention for many people.

…”It’s been three days?”

“He still hasn’t responded…..”

“…..How could she like my post but not tell me about this weekend.”

Contact is a necessity for all, despite how this need looks different for each person. It is the only way we settle into stability if and when we are building trust with someone.

Choosing a mode of contact causes unnecessary stress and anxiety. Life is hard as it is. Don’t add this to the list. If you feel like offering a hug, do it. If you want to slip your hand into someone else’s, go for it. Stroke hair, brush a cheek. Your skin is the largest organ of the body and it responds to touch.

Human vibration is essential, like sunlight to a plant.

Ways you may be hindering your own growth or others by controlling and changing the nature of human contact.

1. You feel on the outside. No one gets you. These “outlier” feelings of alienating and are misguiding you. They are keeping you away from the healing vibrations of other humans. Don’t Do It. And don’t push this idea on someone else.

2. When you close yourself off from others, you close yourself off from what they know and think about, what they are creating and nurturing. You cannot be part of it nor can you share the things you know.

3. If the idea of others causes you to worry that they may interfere and negatively influence your relationship. I can share with you the age old wisdom, “To worry, is to suffer twice.”

If you are pushing people away and out of your life and demanding your significant other to isolate themselves so that you may gain confidence and security. Your fear is impairing you. Your insecurities are negatively impacting your partner’s sensibilities the power of your relationship will be diminished.

Advertisements

Me as a Yoga Teacher

Yoga: Connecting our Dots.

 Image result for yoga peaceWe empower this art with practice and intention.

Practice: We join each of our dots to become whole. 

Intention: We create what that whole image looks like.

We use the the body to still the mind.

I start at the scheduled time, what about you? We do not begin yoga cold, start deep breathing the minute you arrive- suck in the navel to activate the core in any way you feel is good for you to warm-up. Don’t know how? Just start by contracting your muscles, first your butt, then the muscles on the front of the legs, etc. Close your eyes and feel what’s under your skin. This is self-induced trance. Take it seriously.

I will not ask you to move fast, so don’t start racing with yourself or others around you.

This is the antithesis of yoga. Think like tortoise. Move like a tortoise. You will always take at least one full inhale and one full exhale for each posture before you transition out of it.

Vinyasa: to move. I will teach you how to trust Asana, as in the holding of one position and vinyasa the movement from one asana into another. This is only 1/8 of the Yoga Experience.

tiffybaby

Three tips to make your Yoga Transformation successful:

  • Common sense: This is not a “no-pain-no-gain” movement. This is ancient play. You are to be having fun – even in the most uncomfortable.

Do not force yourself into a pose. Asana is designed to dissolve emotional blockages trapped in your tissues. This is something that requires grace and patience. Think of it as loving yourself. We do not have the same body nor do we give or take love in the same way. None of us do. Postures may look very differently for each of us but the benefit is the same. If this is where your learning about yoga begins, welcome. I am happy to share this experience with you.

  • Commitment: This is a real place inside. You must make a decision to be here or there, wherever, and while yoga is about freedom. All freedom comes with great responsibility. You must listen to the ways that your body wants to move. You must balance intensity with sustainability. Transformational energy is already within you and yoga is about quieting the distractions that take you away from that commitment to yourself.

I will ask you to look around and make eye contact with someone. I will ask you to smile and celebrate their beauty and presence, in class- or the subway- wherever-whenever. Now look back at your own gaze and celebrate your presence. Sometimes we can get far from even the most enjoyable parts of ourselves.

  • Courtesy: Be courteous to your practice. It is called a practice because it is not perfect. Some days you notice what is going on in each pose, and some days you have to work for that awareness. Be courteous with each breath, but also with me as your guide.

We are constantly exchanging energy. Be courteous with every single person here.Do not sit and complain about your life’s struggles. No one can help you, but you. There is no talking in a yoga room/studio. Even if you and your immediate neighbor are happy to share, others are here for stillness. This is a time for them as much as it is for you. Let us grow together.