How to SPRING into Action [May 1]

Life remembers all the things you do and don’t and she brings them back and then forces you to laugh at your own stupidity. You will have the same lesson over and over again until you learn it. The same things, crazy and strange things that at the time …are so crazy it seems like nothing like this has ever happened before or to anyone else, but in reality… this is not your first time on this ride, and all your besties know it.

Learning to Love yourselfis the definitionof change copyWhy don’t we learn the first time? Or any time after that? Why must we repeat these experiences? Why and how do we forget? When we get the message in the moment we are so clear and sure as we say to ourselves, “Never again will this sort of thing happen.” Then, all of a sudden you’re kind of back where you were, but not really.. but sort of… sure things are different but what’s actually different? Not much. The first emotion is mad, mad as hell. But then… We laugh. We cry. We over analyze. We stay distracted for as long as we can. We listen to the problems of other people. We try to motivate them to do something to feel better, to make a difference. We ruminate on what is ailing them and why this dilemma is happening to them in the first place. We compare our life to theirs and then we shit on ourselves for forgetting that we had our own problems to solve. 

This is the beginning of the complete examination of everything that has brought us to this moment and in one breath, maybe in the shower or during a commute, its non-stop and you don’t feel like you’re gonna make it.

So as not to be furthermore paralyzed by analysis. This is your brain. Not on drugs, just your regular every day brain.  “And why this and why that…” but then something else comes up:     You are alone.

God No! The horror! You can’t do this alone. You need to be next to someone, touching someone, smelling someone. Why should you not get all of these things and cum? You should cum as much as you physically can. Okay, so then you become aligned with another person. This other person is your friend. You laugh with them now. You cry with them now. They are your go-to human, your number 1 fan, your hero, everything you are into and want to be into. You collide and are physically changed. This happens without thinking. This is your body interacting with your spirit, chemically enhancing your senses and giving you access to love. It isn’t gay. It’s magic.

But what about you? You must not stop living for you, doing for you, trusting in you. You are not what this other person, who happens to always be around wants, needs, thinks of, and is entertained by. You are still committed to the one who came before them and by that I mean the pursuit of your extreme and infinite bliss: Your trial and error, your eternal evolution of what it means to be part of the Universe…. The Where, What, and How…of Being Alive.

  • Demand more from you. You can and will shock the shit out of yourself. Don’t look around what others are doing. Don’t wait for some app to tell you how you feel or what the latest trends are. Do not put yourself on the back burner. Answer the hard questions. Don’t cut corners. Put in the extra credit because investing in yourself is the most important thing you can ever do.
  • The more you share, the more you will know. You can only get what you give. Humans share problems and therefore share solutions. We all learn from mistakes, but they do not have to be our own. Once you “sign on” to the collective experience that we share here and engage in the lives around you, saying your insights out loud [what is true in your heart] is what grants you access to all other truths. Your connection to everyone around you is what keeps you alive.
  • Keep your word. Do as you say you do. Have the will to commit to your greatest challenge. Be the best human for human’s sake. Take pride in your integrity.
  • Find stillness/ silence so that you may hear your inner voice. This is your guide.
  • Fill your life with things that give back. Pursue your hobbies and interests. You are the greatest creator you haven’t yet met. Begin Now. Life is already waiting for you.

You are a satellite: a receiver and you soak in the sunshine and it radiates your insides. You are in harmony. You are not fixed. You are like a plant reaching for the sun, designed with your quirky particulars but grown with and for a magnificent purpose because you are connected to the unknown. Your insides, too, are like liquid, completely formless only to then bloom.

You are divine. Make this life as beautiful as possible.


Saucha (Niyama #1)

Niyama : a personal observance

Saucha –सौच  – Purity of the body, mind, and intention, & ultimately spiritual purity.

Saucha is basically self-care and can be practiced in many ways. You may choose to clean your living space or organize your day in order to function without clutter or confusion. In practicing Saucha, you can eat pure clean foods, moderate the size of your meals, and regularly submit your body to movements so that you flush out toxins and waste from your system.

Saucha is ridding yourself from thoughts that do not serve you and the habits that keep you distracted and impure. 

Purification simply means ridding yourself of excess waste, things and thoughts that do not serve you. The practice of Saucha is practicing purity. Saucha reminds us to live a healthy life on the inside and the outside, aka our relationships and speech. 

If we maintain pure relationships, we do not fill them with greed, jealousy, or any other negative feeling. When we practice saucha in our communication, we learn to separate the stream of consciousness into individual thoughts, separating different emotions and thoughts, according to a purpose – understanding the differences between the two and our innate reactions, and the end result from the practice: a clear and controlled focus.

Everything we do is connected, Saucha is the art of harmonizing our environment and actions towards purity and peace.



Life is Fucking Hard.

Life is fucking hard. I curse a lot when I get frustrated. Come to think about it, I just curse a lot. Yes, from time to time, I too am a wretched individual who is sick of all the bullshit. But, I try to stay as positive as I can. I help others feel good about themselves and get connected to their higher self, their ultimate vibration. Yes, I say weird trippy shit like vibration unabashedly. Seeing others feel good in the life they live shines light on mine.

January in to February has been really fucking hard. I am here to say that there is one thing that I am aware of now that I was never aware of before: I am a self-torturer. I am the kind of person who continually makes things harder for myself. There’s no reason that comes to mind, and it isn’t in just one area of my life. I continually step away from what is easy and go for what is more difficult. Why?! In moving back to NYC, there was no real reason that I needed to get out of what was a great thing in Colorado, other than I was living a lie (more on that later) and oh also I am not really into mountain living. If we could pick and choose the pieces of things that we like and create an alternate reality…. Is this insane? Am I insane?  No, I would do this with people too if I could. But the harder lesson here is to accept things as they are and not wish for them as you want them to be. blah blah blah.

So, back in the Bronx and transitioning through what was a step in an undesirable direction, I decided to take on a video challenge. Yay! A video challenge, idiot. Right in the middle of all other things challenging. I thankfully have a set up here with gma. Me and Fabes living on the second floor, but that too is a difficult task as people in their 70’s have lived a long time. They don’t wanna hear positivity. They don’t wanna smile, eat healthy, listen to what you are feeling, etc. They only wanna do things as they have always done them and get their hair did. I quickly bought myself some wheels and sure I’ve been lucky. I got a great deal, a great car, and reconnected with a great friend, also my mechanic, and he helps me with all of that which I don’t understand vehicle.

As of January, I had only been in NYC for two months and was not looking for work or a way to stay here, but only one of many possible ways out, out to another state, out to another country, out with friends, out out out. This is the hard lesson of attachment and resisting. I was attached to something else, and resisting all that was right in front of me. You do not get what you want, you get what you need. There are things that I need to understand, once and for all, to make an everlasting and impactful change to my behavior and patterned thinking. My life for fuck’s sake. If I want to have a great life, I have to be a great person, not get what I want when I want it.

On the technical and specific details of this day to day video challenge, site-building experience… I decided to get a new phone, a non-iphone. This was wise as I cannot support the notion of being an Apple Consumer anymore. They do not give a shit about me or you, and they continue to make shady business decisions and little “fuck-you’s” that psychologically turn me off. I don’t want an adapter for my headphones, asshole. Headphones have worked since I was born. You get that, more than thirty four fucking years and now you wanna go and change them, but not because they are slipping some tongue into my ear making me feel good, no.. You just want me to carry around yet another piece of wiring so that your product remains different. I don’t need your products to feel different. Thanks though. Also, your software upgrades are horrific: not only are you changing things just to change them. {Since when did I need the camera on the right and how many times can you change the interface when someone opens their phone.} Life is hectic enough. I would like some constancy with my device, but also you are transforming phones that have been purchased with good money and not too long ago into useless paperweights. But so what does this mean, I switched to the Google Pixel, BUT again Apple (now my macbook pro) makes the communication between the two so goddam difficult. So, I have begun a thirty day video challenge where I am sharing my life with you, as I live it— whatever comes my way, but with an added Ninja-warrior like obstacle in the form of technology stopping me from getting the actual videos to you. Why do you need them? Why do you care? I am trying to do something great that is why. Art is the highest form of faith & Art is a way of living.

Friends make the days go by easy. Yea, they sure do. Laughter that makes a face burn and tummy cramp are seriously things I live for. I have a handful of friends that are here that I see, many more that I do not see, and even more than are not within physical reach. I miss them all terribly. I recently lost contact with a very good friend, she’s here in NYC and probably the oldest and longest running friendship I have or had. But, time changes us, people we know change, and this is also a constant part of life. I also had to cease contact with two other people, because of an un-matched want and needs between the two of us. This change is also what makes the day go by easy and something we have to accept and move on. Stay committed to your decisions. Missing the essence of someone does not mean that they need to be back in your life. You cannot please yourself and everyone around you. Popularity is over-rated. Pay more attention to those that love you and care about what you are doing, those that remember the things you tell them, the people that reach out to you right at the moment you needed to be reached and/or were thinking about them even if you told them not to call you, even if you were trying to stay in darkness under that perfectly placed rock you put over your eyes. You can only feel human and get closer to the truth and who you really are when you are relating to others around you with compassion and love.

Lastly, regarding all things body. You gotta want whatever kind of physical activity you are trying to maintain and you gotta want it bad. Shit will get in the way. People hear me. You will have sickness and injury, traffic, and exhaustion, work and family. All of it will come between you and your movement. But get there and do what you can. Remind yourself while you’re in the middle of other things that in an hour or in a few hours, you are going to the gym, or you are going to that spin or yoga class. Keep the conversation about physical activity alive while you are in the middle of the non-active bullshit, we all must entertain. Imagine if all we could do was sweat and lift. Ah…that and a beach.. I am set. But you gotta keep it alive within you. You gotta make working out and connecting to your maximal effort a constant conversation. Once you stop asking for all that you have, it’s almost as if you haven’t respected what you do have. Fitness must come first and that is whatever your movement looks like. We are all in different stages, have different goals, and have different needs. Know and grow yours.

Right, so from the greatest city in the world, ha, I will continue to post these tidbits, videos, factoids, articles —if you will— on the site and my youtube channel. I will continue to believe in what I am doing and gain subscribers.. ha! AND I will have to create a new possibility for traveling beyond this country, but before that, of course is money. I will be hosting some retreats soon, but before that money. The great necessity. We all have to be responsible, even me, who loathes routines, schedules, and the mundane.

I love you, though.

Pantanjali’s Warning: 5 Kleshas

All things from nature create some sort of network, stretching out upwards and outwards, pulling and storing nutrients in order to sustain life. So do we.

Just think of your own life and the things you think you know. Did you come up with that yourself? Did it come to you out of nowhere? Nothing that someone knows or tries to show you came to them in an isolated experience.

Related imageWe come to thoughts by the inspiration of music, something we read, or a conversation that happened in passing. Some people call this a collective consciousness, and its true we are all existing on airwaves. We’ve essentially had wifi for years. 🙂

When someone decides to share a system they’ve designed or a theory they’re composed with you, its important that they offer it in a way that honors the great thinkers that came before them.

Pantanjali (A Great Thinker) wanted us to overcome Kleshas. This was one of many elevents of his ‘Yoga-Sûtras’ and his gift to Yoga. What are Kleshas?

KImage result for kleshasleshas are obstacles to Spiritual Growth: Our habits of perpetual suffering. If it were so easy to be defined as five categorical things, than why don’t we all overcome? Ha.

Five Kleshas: Sanskrit for obstacle. These are the obstacles that can cloud and block the free flowing information from your energetic pathways.

  • Avidya : Ignorance of your true self, or a conditioned ignorance that perceives stress anxiety rather than receiving information from your Higher Self. This lack of trust and receptivity becomes blocks the true self from being expressed. It is the lack of connecting to others and the Universe: our source of being.
  • Asmita : Egoism: the idea that one is separate or better than others and the world.
  • Raga : Excessive attachment to pleasurable and impermanent things.
  • Dvesa : Excessive aversion or hatred, blame, and attachment or dislike for someone or something.
  • Abhinivesha : Fear of death.