Step 6: Contact

Your commitment to connecting to the people around you is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

Character is made from yourself.

Reputation is what other people think of you.

You need contact with other people to build a character that doesn’t give a shit about reputation.

You willingness to see beyond the faults, choices, and habits of others is directly related to how well you accept the faults in your own existence.

In a single lifetime, we’re introduced to several different kinds of people. If we are true to ourselves and others, we can make each interaction a spiritual one. Find something to offer and/or something new to learn from these exchanges. Use them as opportunities to be present and connected so that you may see yourself in someone else. Pushing human contact and connection, friendly or romantic, away is dysfunctional, and has perhaps been imparted to you by someone else’s disaffection.

Connecting with others is natural. Wanting to prolong connection with someone is not a sign of weakness. Wanting to advance your current mode of contact into something more is not needy.

Things to do when you want to talk to someone.

1. Stop making a story about whether someone should call you first, or if it has been enough time to feel like you have the green light. This goes for both men and women. It does not limit your individuality or independence to reach out to someone. You should be secure in who you are that you can literally give pieces of you away as you are limitless.

2. Call them. A dial-pad is not a deadly weapon. Making someone’s phone ring is not a crime. Texting is not whole communication and you are not breaking a boundary just because you haven’t spoken on the phone yet. It never was and never will be despite how normalized it may have become in modern interactions.

3. The energetic exchange of human contact allows you to be vulnerable and you grants the person whom you are communicating with the chance to surrender and show themselves.



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Meaningful contact defines boundaries, breaks down walls, and is an opportunity for people to show themselves. But, when and how to reach out to someone is a huge point of contention for many people.

…”It’s been three days?”

“He still hasn’t responded…..”

“…..How could she like my post but not tell me about this weekend.”

Contact is a necessity for all, despite how this need looks different for each person. It is the only way we settle into stability if and when we are building trust with someone.

Choosing a mode of contact causes unnecessary stress and anxiety. Life is hard as it is. Don’t add this to the list. If you feel like offering a hug, do it. If you want to slip your hand into someone else’s, go for it. Stroke hair, brush a cheek. Your skin is the largest organ of the body and it responds to touch.

Human vibration is essential, like sunlight to a plant.

Ways you may be hindering your own growth or others by controlling and changing the nature of human contact.

1. You feel on the outside. No one gets you. These “outlier” feelings of alienating and are misguiding you. They are keeping you away from the healing vibrations of other humans. Don’t Do It. And don’t push this idea on someone else.

2. When you close yourself off from others, you close yourself off from what they know and think about, what they are creating and nurturing. You cannot be part of it nor can you share the things you know.

3. If the idea of others causes you to worry that they may interfere and negatively influence your relationship. I can share with you the age old wisdom, “To worry, is to suffer twice.”

If you are pushing people away and out of your life and demanding your significant other to isolate themselves so that you may gain confidence and security. Your fear is impairing you. Your insecurities are negatively impacting your partner’s sensibilities the power of your relationship will be diminished.

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Heart Chakra : Anahata

One major detail regarding Chakras: They are energetic centers. (see subtle body) The energy within a chakra can be in deficiency, surplus, or balanced and free flowing. Don’t know where to begin? Read Chakras- At-A-Glance.

Image result for anahataAnahata: The Fourth Chakra: The Heart Chakra. The Sankskrit word ANAHATA translates to “unstruck sound” which is not only the pulse of the heart but also the very first vibration. This cosmic sound is OM. It is the sound of all things, A name we all answer to.

The HEART Chakra is located in the center of our chest and is associated with green and sometimes pink. ANAHATA’s tattva is air, prana, and the life-giving element of oxygen.

  • The 6-pointed star, hexagram, also known as Shaktona of ANAHATA is formed by two intersecting triangles.The entanglement of these triangles highlight the unity of matter and spirit coming together. The upward triangle represents Shiva, and the downward Shakti. Together, their union symbolizes the opportunity we all have to raise our consciousness.

  • The twelve petals of the lotus in the HEART Chakra represent the essential principles for all relationships:

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  1. Purity
  2. Joy
  3. Peace
  4. Kindness
  5. Patience
  6. Understanding
  7. Clarity
  8. Compassion
  9. Forgiveness
  10. Bliss
  11. Harmony
  12. Love

 

anahata with antelopeThe animal associated with ANAHATA is the deer or a black antelope. This animal is extremely sensitive to their surrounding. They gracefully leap through the air with joy and are a symbol of purity.

“Love does not exclude, it embraces. If a person does not love something outside himself, then very simply he does not love himself. Love expands: It not only sees more and enfolds more, it causes its objects to bloom.”     – Hugh Prather

Perceptions from the HEART Chakra are finely tuned and all-encompassing. A balanced ANAHATA embodies:

  • The Source of All Creation: you care for and respect all livings beings.

  • Universal Love: You are filled with infinite compassion and wisdom to see love in everyone. 

ANAHATA is the source of our inner light. Artistic talent is honed in the HEART CHAKRA and it is from this center that we extend beauty, tenderness, and affection to the world, and by the powers of OM, we can communicate directly to the hearts of others.

“There are two ways to spread light:

Be the candle or the mirror that reflects that light everywhere.”

– Edith Wharton

The element of the HEART CHAKRA is AIR.

When working with ANAHATA, this CHAKRA forces us to take on the qualities of air, meaning we MUST see ourselves in everyone and everything.

  • Be light on your feet (not fixed/rigid, flexible)

  • Lighten your thoughts and lighten your heart

  • Elevate the spirit of your internal dialogue

  • Enlighten your experience with self-discovery



 If your HEART CHAKRA is blocked:



ANAHATA, like the subconscious, houses unresolved experiences and karmas of the past – all that complicates the way we express love. The worst part is that none of this is on a conscious level.

Spiritual wounds can be worse than physical ones because they have the tendency to reverse our evolution. The heart is meant to love others, as much, if not more than we love ourselves.   

Un-examined and painful wounds of disappointment can dim our light and in such a way that it may go unnoticed. And as a prisoner of our own confusion, we may find that we are literally sitting in the dark and reacting to- A THING – you do not even understand or remember.

None of this is real.

Symptoms may include:

  • Attachment
  • Sadness
  • Anger
  • Insecurity
  • Emotional Instability
  • Jealousy
  • Resentment

Margot Fonteyn said “The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one’s work seriously and taking one’s self seriously. The first is imperative and the second is disastrous.” Know the difference.

“If one loves himself he can also abandon himself; he can throw himself on the wind because he is safe.”   -Hugh Prather



If your HEART CHAKRA is over-active:



If and when someone asks you to point to yourself, your index finger goes straight to your HEART Chakra. ANAHATA is so closely connected to emotions of love and lust, the how we want to be close and stay close to others and why it feels good. Symptoms that there may be too much energy in this chakra include: 

  • You love too deeply and smother the object of your affection

This is dangerous as you can be subject to the ill-will of others who wish to control you, or you yourself may become controlling.

  • You may be ruled by your emotions

Do you hold on too tightly to the memory of painful experiences? Do you spend time thinking and feeling unhappiness or sadness brought on by thought?

You may not have a sense of where you stand as an individual and because of this substantiate unhealthy relationships in your life. 

  • Loving too many people and too frequently without any discretion
  • Lack of boundaries in friendships and intimate relationships
  • Losing your sense of identity
  • Giving in to the demands of others
  • Codependency

Physical symptoms of an overactive heart chakra may be:

  • Heart and circulatory problems like high blood pressure, heart palpitations, and heart attack
  • Lung issues


Balancing your HEART Chakra:



The goals in regulating the flow of energy in ANAHATA is to find discernment. Can you love and respect everyone but not take everyone into the sacred space which should be reserved for only the few?

From an easy seated position you can make the sound “YANG” with your tongue suspended and resting in your mouth. The vibrations from the “Y” sound made by the back of the throat will reach down to the heart and begin to open ANAHATA. Continue to meditate, using your breath and envision energy with both  male and female elements flowing from your heart in all directions. Use the color green or the twelve petals of the lotus in this HEART Chakra yantra as a symbol for your actions, that you emanate from a place of love to all with love. Chanting OM can be helpful as that is the sound that begins in the heart but is present everywhere.

  • Pingali-Nādī, a pranayama (breathing exercise) clarifies our consciousness and unites the male with the female elements. Nādī Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) unites our emotions and intellect, but also aids in the circulation of oxygenated blood.

Control over our breath re-calibrates our pranic flow and heart rate simultaneously. Here, we use the physical to tap into the metaphysical. 

  • Recognize every living being as a piece of you

  • Wear & Eat Green colored things
  • Exercise to improve Cardiovascular Health.


If your HEART CHAKRA is Balanced:



Love, at all moments, is the highest expression of freedom not possession. Love is understanding not righteousness. At no point should a commitment to love bring us sadness. Security and satisfaction comes from within, not from another. We are not owed anything in return for giving love, and we shall not succumb to the demands of our loved ones. 

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With an open and balanced ANAHATA, love and light radiate from the inner self and immediately seek and find the love and light in others. Namaste